don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
