Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
