I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize