Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
