FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
