kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
handjob tips. give me some.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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