This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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