I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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