try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
