ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
