Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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