i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
