i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
