Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
