She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
