Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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