is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
