well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
