After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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