This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
