I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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