matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
