My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
