Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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