Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
