It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
