She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
