I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
