Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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