i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
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Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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