it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
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Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
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It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I wear drunk well.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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