I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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