Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
