I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
