Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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