Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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