How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
