The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
