i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
