is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
