I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
