Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
