vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
