Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
