she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
