im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
