Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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