can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.