how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
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thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
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I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.