Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring

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  (845): I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring http://tfl.nu/cvji
  Replies (16) Good night (833) Bad night (4950)
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  (631): View more from New York

  our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college

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  (631): our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college http://tfl.nu/4e15
  Replies (17) Good night (7508) Bad night (738)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.

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  (406): As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network. http://tfl.nu/cww0
  Replies (19) Good night (5534) Bad night (1065)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.

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  (240): You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool. http://tfl.nu/7f4d
  Replies (11) Good night (3851) Bad night (948)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.

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  (425): i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life. http://tfl.nu/aawj
  Replies (15) Good night (1872) Bad night (5411)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later

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  (513): I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later http://tfl.nu/i6ww
  Replies (1) Good night (1657) Bad night (953)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.

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  (479): Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/7jgb
  Replies (2) Good night (1428) Bad night (567)
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  (949): View more from California

  So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?

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  (949): So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam? http://tfl.nu/9cgv
  Replies (18) Good night (3024) Bad night (1209)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend

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  (706): Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend http://tfl.nu/biar
  Replies (5) Good night (1852) Bad night (722)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.

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  (214): She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water. http://tfl.nu/39g2
  Replies (11) Good night (822) Bad night (1921)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.

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  (937): And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso. http://tfl.nu/q5xa
  Replies (2) Good night (1092) Bad night (585)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...

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  (315): Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper... http://tfl.nu/s6hc
  Replies (6) Good night (583) Bad night (1060)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Again?

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  (309): He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass. (1-309): Again? http://tfl.nu/q9t8
  Replies (8) Good night (766) Bad night (1410)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?

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  (843): Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo? http://tfl.nu/h14o
  Replies (5) Good night (617) Bad night (987)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.

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  (317): Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away. http://tfl.nu/bccz
  Replies (0) Good night (268) Bad night (128)

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