Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.

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  (540): the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years. http://tfl.nu/vthp
  Replies (47) Good night (614) Bad night (7921)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  How are you going to be there by 9am?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Relax I always go to these conferences hung over

  (646): View more from New York

  You say that like it's a positive quality

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  (646): How are you going to be there by 9am? (919): Relax I always go to these conferences hung over (646): You say that like it's a positive quality http://tfl.nu/xfjl
  Replies (12) Good night (4977) Bad night (1078)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.

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  (412): remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories. http://tfl.nu/emk4
  Replies (11) Good night (5677) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

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  (512): The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"? http://tfl.nu/3j2r
  Replies (32) Good night (17188) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..

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  (815): it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching.. http://tfl.nu/6kt4
  Replies (10) Good night (2594) Bad night (1225)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.

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  (734): I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present. http://tfl.nu/7tah
  Replies (12) Good night (4924) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?

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  (412): Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something? http://tfl.nu/z60e
  Replies (2) Good night (2424) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy

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  (416): Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy http://tfl.nu/lckr
  Replies (15) Good night (1699) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.

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  (702): It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B. http://tfl.nu/uw83
  Replies (8) Good night (1169) Bad night (2326)
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland

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  (+31): its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland http://tfl.nu/q1fm
  Replies (7) Good night (1602) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series

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  (402): Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series http://tfl.nu/c4pq
  Replies (13) Good night (3125) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.

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  (845): I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears. http://tfl.nu/jlvi
  Replies (8) Good night (1652) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.

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  (832): after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations. http://tfl.nu/2l5l
  Replies (14) Good night (1420) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?

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  (541): Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde? http://tfl.nu/3wcs
  Replies (5) Good night (338) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes

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  (413): There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes http://tfl.nu/j3ol
  Replies (0) Good night (425) Bad night (149)

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