I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
