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• (650): View more from California

  Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?

  Fav 19 936 2015

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• (650): View more from California

  ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"

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• (779): View more from Illinois

  explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?

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• (518): View more from New York

  i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I THINK I SHARTED

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  eyebrows regrow, your balls dont

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Desperate times...

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