nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize