so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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