I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
