You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize