i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
