I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
