I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
