just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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