Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
