my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
