I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
