if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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