I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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