Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
