I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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