I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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