I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
